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Saturday, May 10, 2008

The World Keeps Turning

Change is an awesome thing. I've been blessed in my life to see many places, meet many people... I've had quite a range of experiences good and bad which have all strengthened me and shaped me. I embrace a new adventure, and the thought of the unknown scares and excites me all at the same time. I think Daniel and I are really going through with this new job in AZ. This is definitely going to be a rollercoaster ride as we try to get ready to move... again! What a pain! We barely moved to Ohio this past October. We haven't been here a year, and now we're packing up and moving back across the country. A nice short easy move might be nice for once, but eh, that's life. I was pondering the other day... why did we even come to Ohio? When truthful with myself, I know my intentions were to be near my family and friends. For some reason I felt a need to come back. Conveniently OSU has an excellent dental school, and even more conveniently Daniel had family as well that convinced him why it would be good for him to go to school here. Everything made sense. Everything fell into place. I just knew I'd be so much happier in Ohio than I was in Washington. I would have family and friends I could be around and life would be grand. Sheesh, at 23 I'm still naive... :) Just as we moved here my dad got a job in Indiana and my parents have been trying to move ever since. There isn't much time for family get togethers. There are constant house showings, fixing this, fixing that, prepping my brother for his mission, getting ready for graduation for the other brother... Lots going on. I'm happy for my family and all the exciting changes they're going through, but there move certainly wasn't in my plans! My best friend in Cincinnati, who I miss dearly, is a nurse at a hospital and works the nightshift. So between the guy she is dating and her insane work schedule, we haven't exactly had all the hangout time I had hoped for. I know, I'm the married one! I'm the one that should be busy with my new life, and I am... but I sure miss having girls night, or just laying around the house with my family. Daniel is my reason for sanity. The thought of being away from him for even a night literally traumatizes me. I just really miss having friends. I do realize as I'm typing this, that I must sound like a loser... well I guess that doesn't fall short of what I really feel like. My best friends one by one seem to get busier and busier, and we talk less and less. My best friend in Pittsburgh doesn't even talk to me at all. Is it still appropriate to call her my best friend? In my heart it still feels like she is, but I can't pretend it hasn't hurt me to be shut out. Sometimes it feels like I'm really fighting a one sided battle.



But aside from the lonliness I've been feeling recently, I do want to express feelings about one particular friend. She is the one I've known for the longest period of time. We've been bestfriends since 7th grade. We've had our ups and downs and after her wedding we didn't speak for a 2-3 years. I just want her to know how sorry I am, for not being there during that time. I don't think I want to ever really go into the details, nor do I think that it's important, but I hope she knows I never stopped thinking about her. I let my pride get in the way of our friendship, and since we've reconnected I've felt even more remorse for what I did. I missed out on her little girl being born and who knows what else. We've always been connected at the soul. A girl that I worked with said that about one of her best friends, and it made me remember how I had said the exact same thing about my friend many many times. I still feel that way. Even after years of not speaking, the moment we reconnected it's like we picked up where we had left off. She knew me, and I knew her. Out of all of my friends, she probably has the busiest schedule, but she makes time to let me know that she's thinking of me and cares. I am so eternally grateful for friends like her, and I promise to never take it for granted again. While the likelihood of us being neighbors for the rest of our lives and our children growing up together are slim to none, I can still hope! :) Thank you for always being there. You have always been able to relate to whatever it was I was going through. You always understood, or at least were really good at faking it! You were my rock through those rough puberty years.. haha. My love of skater boys must've stuck with me, because I married one! Thanks for soooo many memories. And I really am sorry about the vaseline on your car... if I ever find out who did it, I still will kick their butts! We had some amazing times in Ohio and in Tenessee. I will always cherish the times we spent together. I love you. There is no doubt in my mind that in a previous life we were close. We are connected in a way that I think few people experience. And for that, I am truly blessed.

P.S. we're not sad about getting our picture taken, just sad because my visit to TN is over and I have to fly back to Ohio. :(

4 comments:

beckster said...

Cyd! Hey girlie! I am a blog stalker, have to admit, and I can't believe that I found you! Where in Indiana are your parents moving to?

The Forbes Family said...

Cydo! Wow, it has been forever, hasn't it?! You look great and it sounds like you and your hubby are way happy, congrats! Yep we're livin in Mason and I'm a part time RN and Jason is in law school at UC. Carter is our sweet little boy (14 months). So if you come this way anytime soon, call me, let's have a girls night--I could definitely use one! 513-229-8937 Good to hear from you!

Holli said...

That made me cry! :)

Let me just say that there is no reason to apologize for those missing 2 years. We BOTH were going through major life issues and we probably needed that time to realize how important our friendship really is. I do consider us "soul friends." I firmly believe that different friends fulfill different roles. Some friends are your friends because they make you laugh, some friends are there because they give good advice, some friends are there because they require your good advice, some friends are there because you have such a long history, etc. But, in the long run, they're there for some reason. I feel blessed because you fulfill every reason - we have a long history full of great memories, you make me laugh, you give great advice but also listen to my advice, you are never judgmental, you know me - good and bad, there are no secrets, etc. etc. (I could go on forever.) That sort of friendship is rare and worth holding onto. And, ultimately, it does last forever, even during 2 year sabbaticals. I feel so blessed to call you my friend. Congrats on all your exciting moves - you'll be F-I-N-E. And, in the meantime, let's keep hoping for matching, next door homes. :)

PS: I feel the same way you feel about the loneliness - it's hard maintaining friendships (and getting new ones) at this point in life. That's why old friends are such treasures.

PSS: Is that Gini and Leslie!?!? Wow!

Rivera Family said...

Hi Cyd,
I am excited that you left a comment on my blog. You look so happy and beautiful. Let's keep in touch through blogs!!!

Lisa

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