The Cost of Sin

I've been taught the cost of sin as far back as I can remember. I've had to experience on my own many times of the anguish that brings not only to myself, but to those around me. You would think that after making some severely poor decisions and having to pay the consequences, that one would learn to just steer clear of all things just plain wrong. Unfortunately as humans we are prone to continual error. I am no exception to this rule. Time and time again, I have come up short. In my moments or weakness I have been able to draw comfort from the Atonement and peace from my Savior Jesus Christ. Before one can draw peace, it is necessary to suffer. The suffering must be great enough so that the thought of ever committing this sin ever again makes us shudder. The greater the sin, the greater the hour of darkness, and so much is lost.
In my hour of darkness, I pray that the Lord does not abandon me. I am a slow learner. I have never been the one who is able to draw from others experiences and apply them in my life. This is rather unfortunate for me and all who know me. I have learned the hard way over and over again, and can't help but ask "why?" Why am I so hard headed that I can't just keep it together? My heart aches. My spirit is broken. And it's not over. I will be drained until there is nothing left to give, and only then will the power of the Atonement work the miracles it can. My hope runs low, and my faith is wavering. I can only lean on things I've been taught and vague memories of past experiences. Time heals all wounds. My Heavenly Father loves me and wants what's best for me. He will take care of me. He wants me to be happy.
Hindsight is always 20/20. What's done is done, and I am left... with almost nothing. The cost has been great and I am still paying. Please pray for me. If there has ever been a need for prayers in my whole life, it's now. Know that sin is never worth it. Satan has a way of disguising it and convincing you that it's worth it, but it never ever is.