So since I've gone private a number of questions have come up concerning my personal life and people seem to be picking up that something is wrong by my recent blogs. I will go ahead and be blunt on here because I know everybody that reads my blog and want to clear the air with you all.
Daniel and I are getting a divorce. I am not writing this for sympathy points or even defend what little is left of my dignity. No, instead I am writing this to dispel any misconception that I am the victim. Most of my readers are my good friends and I know friends tend to be biased and assume that blame must be cast on the other because heaven knows our friend would never do anything wrong. I appreciate the love and all the loyalty.
The truth is, my friends, that I am the reason this marriage is ending. Let me be clear that neither one of us has been perfect in our relationship, but Daniel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. In every area that I have been weak he has always been strong. He is kind and patient and most of all has a desire to do what's right and serve the Lord. Daniel has always been faithful to me and even more, he did everything in his power to make me happy.
I have never really felt worthy of such a wonderful man, and still look back and wonder if I ever really was deserving of him. I am thankful for all that he has done for me and everything he has been. I wish I could've been better. I wish with all my heart that we could work things out. He is my world and the only true love I've ever known. Aside from the love aspect, he has honestly been my very best friend. I have always been able to talk to him about anything and everything. I have made so many mistakes in our marriage and Daniel has always been by my side strengthening and supporting me, but I pushed him too far. Any other normal human being would've given up on me ages ago, but he gave his all and stuck it out. I am eternally grateful for that. I love Daniel with all of my heart. I can't imagine my life without him, but I have to. If I knew how to fix things, I would... but sometimes things are just beyond repair.
So there I've said it. Now you know my big secret and understand my "mysterious" blog posts. I just wanted to post this so that you all won't think Daniel is to blame. He isn't. He is a good man. I will always treasure the memories we made together and all the happiness he brought me. I have never felt happiness like I did with him. I hope that one day I can find it again.
6 comments:
Oh Cyd I'm so sorry. We love you so much and you are always in our prayers. You always have us here if you need anything.
Cyd, looking at the pictures of you and Daniel is pretty heart-wrenching. It pretty much sums up the highs of marriage - the fun things you do together, the special little moments. But, despite all the "highs" there are always "lows" too. And, I'm sorry that the lows were too deep, too painful, and too much for Daniel to handle. I STILL believe that he is making a big mistake. And, I know all the details. But, I think it's amazing that you have such an upbeat, forgiving attitude about it all.
As always, call me, email me, text me, if you need me. I love you! XOXO, Holli
You are always in my prayers Cyd and I am hoping good things for your future. Stay strong and faithful!
thank you, I appreciate the prayers and all the love and support. Whether or not it's a mistake, I know that Daniel's desires are pure. He would never walk away if he didn't believe it was the right thing. I have faith greater blessings are still to come for both of us.
Hey Cyd,
If you didn't already know this, Moni and I are here for ya if there is absolutely anything at all that we can do for you. Both you and Dan have been in our prayers and we hope to still continue our friendships come what may. We love ya!
Thank you so much Alex. You guys are awesome friends. Hug your wife for me and tell her I miss her.
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