Drug Induced Epiphany

Being sick is really no fun. It's only October and I've already caught something. Hopefully it'll be the only thing I catch this season. I'm normally the type of person who likes to let nature take its course and avoid popping pills at all costs, but being a student I want to make sure I can function as quickly as possible and not miss class. So I've been going against my natural tendencies and choking down over-sized orange and blue/green gel caps. I've noticed my nighttime medicine makes me feel a little funny and well, I had the strangest experience last night.
Maybe this is slightly blasphemous, but for the longest time I've been dealing with... to put it mildly, a bad taste in my mouth about our life here on Earth. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, but I eagerly await the day this life is over. With what I've been taught about the afterlife, I can't wait to get there. In my woozy thoughts last night, for some reason I started thinking about this whole thing. Daniel gets a little frustrated with the way I feel about this life. He thinks it means that I don't feel anything good has come out of my life on Earth. This is not true at all. I am grateful for all the wonderful things and maybe not so wonderful things that have happened to me while I'm here. I yearn for an ending, not necessarily for myself (while I can't exclude myself entirely), but for the world around me. It seems like the world keeps getting worse and worse and there is so much suffering everywhere. Things are happening that are so evil, I can't comprehend. I get angry for the children in Africa that have to leave their families and live on the run just so they aren't forced into joining some rebel army that commits hideous acts. I am angry for the women and children that are being abused and tormented. My mind cannot grasp how a loving Father in Heaven can let his children go through these things. Do I doubt that he loves each and every one of us? Absolutely not. Nevertheless, my heart aches immeasurably and I find myself wishing it was all over.
Last night I felt this sudden urgency to live life to its fullest. It was the strangest feeling. I felt this fear overcome me that soon this life would be over and I would be looking back and wishing I would've appreciated it more. This life is a gift and I should cherish it, and my Heavenly Father is aware of all the suffering and His blessings will surpass every pain that has been felt or endured. I really need to make an effort to be more faithful. One day I'll understand, but until then I just need need to remain faithful.